Leftridge: August Royals’ Recap: The Blessed End is Near
The infuriating thing about the Kansas City Royals is that baseball doesn’t exist in a world of “coulda.” Baseball is a universally black and white affair (hold the Dominican jokes, please), wherein a...
View ArticleLeftridge: Royals’ Season Recap (From a Guy Who Watched More Than Just...
Somewhere long before Wednesday’s season finale– before Eric Hosmer’s grand regression, before all of the season-ending ligament surgeries, before Royals’ fans realized with wretched horror that Bruce...
View ArticleLeftridge: Royals’ Offseason Soldiers On, Apparent Satan Pact Maker Hochevar...
So they haven’t signed Zack Greinke. The fact of the matter is, they probably won’t. Get over it. And to ESPN’s Jim Bowden, who, upon the announcement of Jeremy Guthrie’s signing tweeted, “Royals...
View ArticleLeftridge: Bob Davis Ends 16-Year Reign of Terror
Here’s a hypothetical scenario. Bottom of the 9th. Royals trailing the White Sox by 5 runs. One out. Lorenzo Cain on first. Eric Hosmer, who’d had the day off, is pinch-hitting. He watches the first...
View ArticleLeftridge: Seven Completely Accurate Predictions for the 2013 Royals
Although Mother Nature’s grand witchery seems to indicate otherwise, it is officially Spring which means that trees are (theoretically) in full bloom, the grass is (supposed to be) turning green and...
View ArticleLeftridge: Ladies and Gentlemen, Your First Place Kansas City Royals
“Nothing gold can stay.” –Robert Frost It’s too early to get excited. I get it. I get that the Royals are in first place at 6-3, but it’s NINE GAMES. A lot can happen in nine games, and even the …...
View ArticleLeftridge: The Royals Playing Limbo: How Low Can They Go?
Well, it was bound to happen, right? The magic that kept the Royals in first place throughout most of April and a chunk of May has worn off, and we’re left with the sad truth: the unicorn we’d all...
View ArticleLeftridge: May Royals’ Recap: Come to Suck
What a difference a month makes. At the end of April, the Royals were 14-10. They were a game out of first place and everything was coming up daffodils. The pitching was invincible and the...
View ArticleLeftridge: Royals Shock World With Worst 1st Round MLB Draft Pick Ever
“With the eighth overall pick in the 2013 Major League Baseball amateur draft, the Kansas City Royals take O’Jesus Whogivesashit from For Fuck’s Sake State University.” Or that might as well have been...
View ArticleLeftridge: Royals Resume Winning Ways, Despite Ned Yost’s Continual Efforts...
Imagine a carpenter. He’s working on a new home with a crew of other guys, but it’s not going so hot. He’s been on this job for months now—much longer than anyone ever anticipated—and mostly, he’s...
View ArticleLeftridge: Royals’ June Recap
Sometimes, when you hope and dream about something long enough, it can come true. A mysterious boil on your privates retracts, allowing you to sleep a little easier. The utility company made a mistake...
View ArticleLeftridge: Royals Midyear Awards, Because Why Not?
So the All Star Game is in the books—a delightfully pointless affair that serves only to illuminate the pageantry in professional sports—and we’re left with nothing but the memories. Neil Diamond...
View ArticleLeftridge: Trade Deadline Looms; Will Dayton Moore Do the Right Thing?
Dayton Moore is in the middle of the singularly biggest week of his professional life. Forget about the James Shields acquisition—that was a decision that likely took months of planning and...
View ArticleLeftridge: Hey Dayton, Nice Trade Deadline
Well, THAT was unexpected. Except, well, maybe it wasn’t. Because if Royals fans have grown accustomed to any one thing during general manager Dayton Moore’s tenure, it’s that nothing is as it seems....
View ArticleLeftridge: The One Where I Equate Enjoying the KC Royals to Sex with a Unicorn
Since Justin Maxwell was acquired at the trade deadline, he’s done nothing but hit home runs. (Well, two of them.) That still doesn’t mean I think giving up pitching prospect Kyle Smith was the right...
View ArticleLeftridge: Most Important Series of Royals’ Season Started…Last Night
Editor’s note: This post was written last night but went unpublished owing to a communication miscue. This is it. This is everything. No series this season has been more fraught with tangible...
View ArticleLeftridge: Royals’ Season Sunk, Took Longer Than Usual
Well, that’s your ballgame, folks. Though it comes as no surprise—we didn’t REALLY think the Royals would contend this year, did we?—it is a bit more melancholy than years past. That’s because, unlike...
View ArticleLeftridge: Holy Fu**ing Sh*t, Royals Still in Playoff Hunt
I remember bits and pieces about being four years old, odd things that make me question just what kind of bizarre childhood I truly had. I remember that I had two Hot Wheels that I unimaginatively...
View ArticleLeftridge: Royals’ Playoff Hopes Disappear, But That Doesn’t Mean Season Was...
Most of us were asleep when the Royals postseason hopes were finally dashed against the rocks. It was late—late for a lot of 9-5’ers, anyway—when the mostly hapless Seattle Mariners finished drubbing...
View ArticleLeftridge: A Look Back at My 2013 Royals Predictions
Travel with me back in time. Say, oh, six months or so. The government was still doing governmental things. It was a snowy spring, brutish and cold. Our grandmothers hadn’t yet been subjected to the...
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